Q: I have been to court three times now trying to have a pre-trial conference. My husband and I don’t have any assets to speak of. He had drug issues and managed to get himself on SSDI several years ago. We get a monthly check for our son. I am realistic that is all I am getting out of our divorce. I am a nanny and make enough to support myself and our son.
At the first pre-trial conference, my husband claimed he had COVID and didn’t show. Of course, I took a day off and spent it in court waiting for him to show — he did not give anyone the courtesy of notice. The judge set it down for another date two months later. Again, he didn’t show and claimed he again had COVID. We just had a third attempt at a hearing and this time he claimed to be in the emergency room.
We now have a fourth date on the calendar for the end of August. I don’t want to have to use another day off and want this over before my son goes back to school. All I am looking for is to keep the SSDI checks for our son and custody. He is 14 and has very limited interaction with his dad — mostly because my husband moved in with his girlfriend a year ago and makes zero effort.
How can I make this move forward? I am afraid he will no show forever.
A: He just might no-show forever. I don’t know which of you filed the divorce case but I hope it was you. There are few benefits to being the first to file but this is one. If you are the plaintiff, or even if you filed a counterclaim for divorce, show up to the next hearing with a proposed judgment of divorce and ask the judge to sign it granting you a divorce and custody with support paid by virtue of the monthly SSDI check for your son. Given the three strikes, this strategy should work.
Only the plaintiff can ask for a judgment to enter even if he does not show up. It is unusual for the judge to give him so many chances so I suspect you are the defendant. If that is the case and you have not yet filed a counterclaim for divorce, you should now file a motion to file your answer and counterclaim late. Ask your husband to assent, and if he does the motion can be allowed administratively with no hearing. If he won’t assent, ask for it to be heard before the August pre-trial date. Once your counterclaim is on record, the judge can grant your request for a divorce regardless of where your husband might be on the date of the next pre-trial conference.
This is probably the one time it matters if you are plaintiff or defendant in a divorce. It is also the one time having no significant assets is helpful.
Email questions to whickey@brickjones.com