Q My life changed from nice to nasty. My husband and I have four children who are cared for during the day by a nanny. The nanny brings along her own child – whose father she said is her ex-husband.
Three weeks ago the nanny’s ex called and told me he divorced her because the father of her child is my husband. I confirmed that claim by using a drug store paternity test kits. But, so far, my husband doesn’t know what I know. But if I fire the nanny, she’d have no income and seek child support from my husband.
A Race to the courthouse to immediately file your divorce and motions for temporary child support and alimony. Get the earliest hearing date. Your goal is to have the court order your husband to pay you child support before the nanny gets a child support order. If you’re first in line, the court will reduce your husband’s available income by the amount of child support he’s paying you.
Say nothing to your husband or the nanny. Be cool. Then two weeks before the hearing on your motions, serve your husband with the summons and other documents plus a demand for his financial statement.
In the meantime, you need to make sure you’ll have enough money to pay bills during the divorce case. So, before your husband is served and without telling your husband, you need to (a) move at least half – and maybe more – of the money now in joint savings and checking accounts into your new separate accounts; (b) move your valuable jewelry from the house to a new safe deposit box; (c) apply for your own separate credit cards; (d) make copies of the last three years tax returns, bank and credit card statements, bills for expenses (real estate tax, weekly shopping, clothing, life, health, and other insurance policies, etc.); (e) for obvious reasons, open a post office box in a nearby town and have all your mail sent there – not to your house; and (f) start looking for a new nanny.
If you have joint stock accounts instruct each company by telephone, email and certified mail that you no longer permit any transactions without your joint signature. And, if there’s a line of credit on your house, either close it or move the available money into a savings account for safe keeping. That way you husband can’t take that money and try to leave you with that debt.
Next, go to www.mass.gov/service-details/financial-statements. Determine which forms you’ll need to file. List every big and little expense. Then bring back up documents, including tax returns, to court in case your husband claims your expenses are inflated.
Last, if your husband seeks forgiveness, you could say no for two reasons. First, you didn’t conceive of having another child this way. Second, just as light travels faster than sound, he looked bright until you heard him speak.