Q. My ex and I share custody of our three kids equally. Because he is an ER nurse and is now working more than usual, we agreed the kids would just stay with me until this is all over. The only problem with that is the finances. I am a consultant and can generally work from pretty much anywhere. But, now I am trying to work from home while “home schooling” three elementary school-age kids, one of whom has an IEP. In the last two weeks, I have gone from billing on average eight hours per day to an average of 2.5.
Because our incomes are almost equal, there is no child support order. I asked my ex to pay me some voluntary support during this time frame until I can resume working. He declined saying he is risking his life every day and thus doing his part while I get to stay home and play with the kids. Clearly, he is stressed but he is putting an unfair burden on me. I have enough of a nest egg to pay my mortgage for a few months and buy food. But it seems unfair that I should have to solely bear the financial burden here.
I understand the court is closed except for emergencies, which this really isn’t, but do I have any options?
Prepare a complaint for modification stating with the change in circumstances being you are now the sole custodial parent during this pandemic. If you have an email or text confirming this agreement, attach it as an exhibit. Also state that your income has dropped significantly while your ex is working longer hours and therefore likely earning more. Ask for child support to be ordered retroactive to the date of your complaint for modification through the duration of this temporary changed circumstances.
Realize we are in somewhat unchartered waters here. Normally, you would be issued a summons and you could request the increase retroactive to the date the summons is served. Because you will not get a summons from the court right away and by the time you get to court for a hearing, your regular parenting plan may have resumed — you need to get creative in your retroactive request. Mail a copy of the complaint to your ex when you send it to the court. Include a letter asking that he re-consider his position because you really are not interested in a fight, but you cannot be the sole parent to kids who have no school, teach them, and work full time so your income has dropped precipitously while your bills have gone up because the kids are there all the time.
When the courts re-open, you will need to get a hearing date for a motion to establish support. If your ex hasn’t stepped up to make voluntary payments by that point, mail him a copy of your motion giving him notice of the hearing and hope for a sympathetic judge.