Q. I live in New Hampshire. My ex was living with me but left when she learned she was pregnant. She moved to Plymouth, Massachusetts, three hours from my house. She had the baby and filed for child support. We both earn about the same income.
She sent me a proposed agreement that says I am the father, sets child support at the guidelines amount with a worksheet to back it up, says I will cover the baby’s health insurance and pay half of all uninsured medical expenses, says I will pay half of the nanny ($1,200 per week), and says I will pay half of college. This does not feel quite right to me – especially because she is saying I can only see the baby when she agrees, and she gets full custody of him. Do you see anything that I should consider challenging?
A. First of all, do you know that you are the father? If she up and moved out of state when she learned she was pregnant – maybe she knew something you didn’t. Request a paternity test before you agree to anything.
Assuming the test deems you to be the father, this will be a long road for you. Massachusetts has high child support guidelines, requires payment beyond the age 18 in many cases, and requires parents to contribute to college – something New Hampshire does not require. So, the move to Massachusetts was likely a strategic one if she did not see a future for your relationship. If you are the father and you want a relationship with your child, you should file an answer and counterclaim and ask the court to establish a parenting schedule so that you have rights to the child. Expect to start out slow and build up over time.
On the child support side, you should run your own guidelines worksheet. Put in what she pays for childcare and the calculator will take care of incorporating the appropriate sharing of that expense. Do not assume you have an obligation beyond what the guidelines shift to you as part of the formula. Also, figure out what it will cost you per month to come to MA for a weekend including gas, hotel, food while here in order to spend time with the child. You can argue that you have this added cost due to her sole decision making in moving and you should get some credit on your child support.
It is not mandatory that you agree to college contributions now.
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