Q. My husband is a consultant who travels extensively for work. Once our children were born, I quit my teaching job to care for them. We decided it would be an amazing adventure to rent our home and just travel the world wherever his work took us. So, for almost four years, we traveled the globe. When we were in Massachusetts we stayed with family because our home continued to be rented.
We decided the children and I should return to Massachusetts now that they are school age so they could start Kindergarten in September. My husband was supposed to travel only two weeks per month so he was at least home half the time and his travel was supposed to be more local with an Eastern USA territory. That did not happen. Instead I learned he was staying Scotland with a woman from work with whom he is now having an affair.
I filed for divorce in October after a big argument when I confronted him about the affair. I need him to start paying child support because I have not yet found a new job. Frankly, I probably won’t get one until the next school year when teachers are again hired. My name is not on the international accounts where his paycheck is deposited. So, I have to keep liquidating investments and incurring capital gains taxes in order to buy things for our home. When we stored everything the twins were in cribs – now they need beds. He won’t come home so I can serve him. He also won’t tell me his schedule so I can’t figure out where to try to serve him.
What should I do? I understand a judge won’t order support until he is served. And is there a reason he is avoiding being served?
A. You should first hire a lawyer to help with this process – trying to do this on your own has already cost you two months of support. Your lawyer will file an ex parte motion for alternative service. Ex parte means without giving proper notice to your husband. You will need to sign an affidavit describing your husband’s travel schedule and the fact he is not cooperating with service. The judge will permit you to serve him by some means other than the standard in hand service. Sometimes a judge will allow service by Federal Express and email if you have a valid email address. Where he is overseas, push for email service.
As for the why, given his travel you need to carefully scrutinize all of his bank transactions when documents are exchanged. People often think they can get away with hiding assets in other countries. Trace every transfer he makes. Issue a subpoena to his employer so you are sure you know about all accounts where he deposits his paycheck.
He is playing games so hold your cards close. When you have all the documents he will learn who has the better poker face.
