When I first filed for divorce, I hired an attorney and my husband did not. He gets a lot of misinformation from the internet, which has driven my legal fees sky high. For example, I moved back to Toronto with our twins when we first separated 14 months ago. They are 16 years old and one has decided he wants to return to Massachusetts. We had it all worked out until my husband insisted that if Ben returned to Massachusetts without me or his brother, I could charge him with kidnapping. Eventually I figured out he was worried I was going to bring a Hague Convention claim.
He then insisted on speaking with me directly and trying to negotiate everything because he said it was unethical for my lawyer to speak directly with him. He went so far as to file a complaint with the Board of Bar Overseers against my lawyer for contacting him directly. He forced my fees up even further when my lawyer charged me for the time he spent clearing his name with the BBO.
As it turned out, my husband was consulting an attorney all along. Now, my husband’s lawyer has finally filed an appearance. We have a pretrial conference next month and have circulated multiple drafts of a full agreement. The lawyer just does not respond and does not tell my husband he gets any communications from my lawyer. My husband is completely in the dark about all of our attempts to negotiate. My lawyer says there is nothing I can do but it feels like that too is just driving up the costs. I just want this over.
When I first filed for divorce, I hired an attorney and my husband did not. He gets a lot of misinformation from the internet, which has driven my legal fees sky high. For example, I moved back to Toronto with our twins when we first separated 14 months ago. They are 16 years old and one has decided he wants to return to Massachusetts. We had it all worked out until my husband insisted that if Ben returned to Massachusetts without me or his brother, I could charge him with kidnapping. Eventually I figured out he was worried I was going to bring a Hague Convention claim.
He then insisted on speaking with me directly and trying to negotiate everything because he said it was unethical for my lawyer to speak directly with him. He went so far as to file a complaint with the Board of Bar Overseers against my lawyer for contacting him directly. He forced my fees up even further when my lawyer charged me for the time he spent clearing his name with the BBO.
As it turned out, my husband was consulting an attorney all along. Now, my husband’s lawyer has finally filed an appearance. We have a pretrial conference next month and have circulated multiple drafts of a full agreement. The lawyer just does not respond and does not tell my husband he gets any communications from my lawyer. My husband is completely in the dark about all of our attempts to negotiate. My lawyer says there is nothing I can do but it feels like that too is just driving up the costs. I just want this over.
It seems like your husband’s ability to ask Mr. Google is lacking because the Hague Convention is available online and clearly says it does not apply once a child is 16. I suggest you and your lawyer work on a motion for legal fees and send it over to his lawyer ASAP, carefully laying out all of the instances your husband drove up your fees and all of the reasons his lawyer has done the same. Notice the motion for hearing at the time of the pretrial conference — even if the judge doesn’t hear motions that day, it is still leverage.
Next, while your lawyer cannot communicate directly with your husband, you can send him copies of the communications your lawyer sends his. Tell him you want to understand his position now so hopefully you can reach a full agreement at the pretrial conference. This might just light the right fire.
Don’t be afraid to add a clause in the agreement requiring him to reimburse all of the unnecessary fees he caused. But be equally willing to remove it in negotiations on the day of the hearing — freedom often comes at a price.
