My husband left me and our 2-year-old daughter last year and moved to North Carolina with his pregnant girlfriend. He has no interest in spending time with our daughter and I don’t want him in her life. I have a good job and a supportive family and am doing fine on my own.

We reached an agreement in which my husband agreed to waive all of his rights to our daughter. I figured that was best so when I meet someone who wants to be a part of our lives, she can be adopted. My husband did not show up for the hearing and the judge said she could not approve our agreement the way it was written. We used a mediator so I thought it was written properly.

Out in the hallway after the hearing, a lawyer pulled me aside and said I should consider adopting my daughter. I don’t understand what this means. Is this something that could help me here?

While your husband has the right to waive his rights to see and spend time with your daughter, as I understand it, the Commonwealth believes children are entitled to two parents who can be financially responsible. It is not your right to the support your husband could be ordered to pay but your child’s right.

I have seen people get around this issue in two ways. First, you can adopt your child, making you her sole parent, so only you are responsible for her support. While it sounds crazy, it solves the problem. Down the road you could permit someone else to also adopt her if you have a new partner or spouse. An added benefit to this is, as the sole parent, you can name someone to care for her in the event of your death, thus preventing your husband from having any say in her care. If you want to go this route, you should find an adoption attorney to draw up the paperwork, which your husband would sign.

Another option is to ask the court to appoint a special Guardian Ad Litem to investigate and make a recommendation on the issue of a permanent waiver of your daughter’s right to receive child support from your husband. It is hard to know what a GAL would do, but I have seen this work as well. If a GAL, after talking with you, your relatives and your husband, were able to conclude your child will not be adversely impacted by waiving support from your husband and, there indeed could be some benefit, the judge would then have authority to approve your agreement as is.

Whichever option you select, before going back, you should have a family law attorney carefully review the mediator’s agreement so you don’t give the judge a second opportunity to reject it.