Q. My soon-to-be ex has been dragging out our divorce for over a year. She has it made right now because I am paying child support and all of the house expenses – mortgage, utilities, insurance, etc. I have been living in my mom’s finished attic for a year because I don’t make enough to rent a place for myself.
Our pre-trial conference just got continued again – this time because her lawyer is going on vacation. Our next date is November. They still won’t answer my discovery requests (I’ve responded to all of their requests and supplemented my responses). And they keep scheduling and then canceling our settlement meetings.
I still have access to our Ring doorbell camera. Yesterday I saw her boyfriend moving into our home. My lawyer says he can’t ask the judge to order the house sold at this stage because where will our kids live. Why does her boyfriend get to move into our home where our kids live and why do I have to pay his housing expenses? Is there anything I can do?
A. You are right to be angry – she should not be playing house until your divorce is finalized AND you have no obligation to finance his housing. First step is to save moving-in footage from your Ring camera and get it to your lawyer to use in court. Next, ask your lawyer to file a motion to allow you to move back into the house to care for your children and have your soon-to-be-ex move out if she wants to live with another man. Most judges find introduction of a new partner to children before the divorce is over to be problematic.
As part of the motion, ask that your child support end and, instead, that she be ordered to pay you some child support and/or contribute to the cost of the house. This is likely to accomplish two things – first, your wife is likely to ask her boyfriend to move back out so she can tell the judge you are wrong and he is not living there. This is why you need the doorbell video footage to show the judge. Keep watching and also record his moving out assuming that happens so you can also show the judge the bad-faith. Second, this will probably get her to the negotiating table.
If she now wants to talk, try to reach an agreement on all issues and use the next court date to get divorced.
Email questions to whickey@brickjones.com